The temper diaries

More than 2300 years ago, Aristotle said, "Anyone can get angry, that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, at the right time, for the right reason, and in the right way - that is not easy."

 

As rational individuals, we all know that there are times when we are unreasonable in getting angry at someone. Why then, do we do it? We blame it on tough living conditions, stress on the job, family stress, and of course, the most common reason - PMS! Point being, we tend to blame our behaviour on our surroundings, external conditions, etc - basically, everything other than our own behavioural deficiencies.

 

What then, prompted Aristotle to say this more than two thousand years ago? A time, when, presumably, the stress in life was far lesser, lifestyles were simpler, more minimalistic and jobs were certainly less stressful (unless you were a soldier, of course!). The fact is, that whatever situation we are in, in life, a majority of us find it difficult to get by - we fancy our neighbour's pie more than our own, and tend to feel victimised when life hands us the proverbial lemon.

 

This would mean that, in the last 2000 years, as a race, human beings haven't evolved much beyond external living conditions, which, of course, has only made it more stressful for everyone involved - we're still feeling victimised, the grass is still greener on the other side, we're still, as a result, getting angry with the wrong people for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. Where is that self control that the great epics have professed? Whatever happened to counting 10 before reacting to something?

I've seen a number of people who are quite composed and all, and claim to be extremely calm - but without fail, I've also seen every one of these people lose it unreasonably at some point. Our impulse to get angry, more often than not, translates into a physiological reaction of getting angry - this seems to be our basic evolutionary flaw.

 

Its on sale!

This one's for the guys (girls - don't miss it)!
I think it was a girl who once said "A guy will buy a $2 item that he needs for $4, and a girl will buy a $4 item that she doesn't need at all for $2, provided its on sale!" I leave it to individuals to comment (at their own risk, of course), on how true this statement is.

What I've observed, to much amusement, is that this statement remains true of women, irrespective of age, cast, creed, location, cost of the object in question, etc... so much so, that in everyday life, if one notices closely, there are words and phrases used that are designed to (intentionally or unintentionally) make us guys believe that we're getting the deal of our lives!

A friend of mine, living in the US and a self confessed couch potato, who'd never get up to perform any task that she considers "physically taxing" (including taking a STROLL around the park), was recently heard pestering her boyfriend to take her shopping for skiing equipment!! In unrelated yet shockingly similar incidents, here's what I got to hear: "this offer for return airfare to Chile is 'only' 70 grand - its usually 1Lac - we MUST go" (this from a girl who's been talking about saving money all month) , or, "hey! prices of cars have fallen? I think I should buy my favorite one!" (its recession time, honey!), or, "look at electronics goods prices - they're giving out a 30% discount - I think I'll buy a TV" (but I thought you already had two at home), or my personal favourite - "I think real estate prices are down these days - I should look at setting up a cafe as space will be cheap" (sure, that *should* be the primary motivating factor)

The way to learn the game

A good man once said, "play for more than you can afford to lose - this way, you'll learn the game".
Well, I was about 14 years old when I first heard this quote. Besides being a regular rebellious teenager, I suffered from a very high risk appetite already. One can only imagine the "inspirational" effect such a saying was likely to have on a guy with such a mindset.
Taking it literally to begin with, I force-landed in my next football match in a position I'd never played before - midfield (I was always a defender). I must admit I was pretty horrible at it - the guys in my team were ready to beat me up after I failed to set up some appalingly easy passes, and I immediately realised the value to sticking to what I knew best - defending.

Every ordinary person takes calculated risks, and conventional wisdom condones this. What we don't do, is taking risks that we can't afford to get the short end of...honestly, we don't take those chances in the real world. Or do we? I know of people who've quit their jobs to pursue their passion and have landed flat on their faces; they've lost all their money, a lot of their time, and confidence of other people in them. But what I've noticed about each and every one of these souls is that the spirit is intact. They've emerged wiser from their experiences, and will never make the same mistakes again (given the elusive chance, of course).

Therefore, rash as it may sound, taking a risk you can't afford can actually speed up one's learning process - what one learns from a risk that backfired, resulting in an unaffordable loss, is, I think, priceless.